Veggisode 33

Hong Kong Harbor

The Vegetable Stalker spotted in China! Stay tuned to find out!

Hello, this is Victoria Apple reporting for VNN., Veggie News Network. Bruce is still in jail and I’ve been chasing this jerk, Veggie Head Stalker all over the South Pacific. Veggie skipped out of my motel room in Fiji early last Thursday morning, but I’m hot on his trail if you know what I mean. Undisclosed sources tell us that the Vegetable Stalker was spotted in Hong Kong earlier today.

The mandarin orange is a fruit
that grows inside a can
packed in syrup, sugary sweet,
so much that some can’t stand.
But Veggie said, “We must be brave,”
so ‘cross the waves we sailed
and when we got to China,
“Land ho!” Veggie yelled.

We sailed into the harbor
in our ship the, SS. Junk,
where lots of other boats were parked.
Of fish, the harbor stunk.
A little man walked up to us,
said, “You’re American, I see.
What has brought you here to China?”
Veggie said, “Our ship, can’t you see?”

“Ah so,” agreed the little man,
“but then why have you came?”
“I’m the mighty Vegetable Stalker,” Veggie said,
“Perhaps you’ve heard the name?
But just in case you haven’t
I’ll tell you why we’re here.
We came for mandarin oranges
and kegs of your rice beer.”

He led us through the busy streets
where mandarins are sold
in little cans so shiny bright
you could tell they weren’t too old.
Then Veggie picked out several cans
saying, “They’re all nice and firm,
but tell me, are they really ripe
for that’s my worst concern.”

Veggie, Sweetie, you can’t eat them while they’re still in the can. Veggie thinks they grow that way. Come to think of it, have you ever seem a mandarin orange growing on a tree? Maybe they do grow in cans, but squeezing the cans isn’t how you check to see if they’re ripe. Everyone knows you have to thump ‘em and listen. Oh my! Veggie’s trying to bite through the can! Anyone want to bake a fruitcake? Hey, where’s everyone going? I was only kidding... Alone again.

Ya’ll stay tuned to this VNN. station or go to VegetableStalker.com for the latest Veggie updates. Hey Veggie, I’ve got a can opener, there sweetie. Veggie, Veggie, come back!