Veggisode 1: Cantaloupes

We're sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this urgent broadcast.

Hello, This is Bruce Apple with VNN., Veggie Network News, bringing you this late breaking story. Somewhere in eastern North Carolina, a man identified only as the Vegetable Stalker, attacked an unidentified field of cantaloupes! That’s right, cantaloupes! The whereabouts of this strange attacker aren’t known, but this is what allegedly happened.

Saw a herd of cantaloupes
lurkin’ in the vines,
hangin’ with the melons,
killin’ lots of time,
grazing on the nitrogen,
an’ basking in the sun.
Saw a herd of cantaloupes
an’ none of them did run.

Saw a herd of cantaloupes,
more than two or three,
and all the while I wondered
if they were seeing me.
They acted really nervous,
of that, I have no doubts.
Saw a herd of cantaloupes
a lingering about.

Saw a herd of cantaloupes
putting roots deep in the soil,
but none of them were working;
no doubt, they never toil.
They were hiding ‘neath the leaves
with the radishes and such.
Saw a herd of cantaloupes
but couldn’t hear them much.

Saw a herd of cantaloupes
so I snuck up very quiet,
kept my hands upon my weapon
clutching it so tight.
I guess they never saw me
‘til at last it was too late.
Saw a herd of cantaloupes,
an’ man they sure taste great!

And so begins the legend of the mighty Vegetable Stalker... Will he grow on to become a hero to us all, or will he simply become another legend lost to the ravages of lost time and leftovers long since forgotten in the back of some long since discarded refrigerator? Ya’ll stay tuned for more of the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker right here at VNN., Veggie Network News.

For the latest breaking news, visit the VNN.. website at VegetableStalker.com.

Please continue reading Veggisode 2.

Comments

[Nay]

On a hot day like this, cantaloupe would be really good for lunch!

[RecycleBill]

You mean you don't spend your days on the beach? Seriously, my boss prefers watermellon but 'lopes are good for me too.