Veggisode 10

Apples

Stay tuned for an exclusive Vegetable Stalker update right here at VNN., Veggie News Network.

Hello, this is Kathy Apple bringing you the latest news of the Vegetable Stalker right here at VNN., Veggie News Network. Or is that Veggie Network News? Anyway, I'm filling in for my parents, Bruce and Victoria Apple who are still in bed. Seems like that's all they ever do. And they wonder why we children are so screwed up...

The notorious Vegetable Stalker was spotted somewhere in Washington state, allegedly trying to steal a hot air balloon filled with apples. What did the Vegetable Stalker want with apples? Well here's what unconfirmed witnesses had to say about it.

They say Sir Isaac Newton
was hit upon the head.
Was he discovered gravity,
though he might have gone to bed.
And a man called Johnny Apple seed
took seeds to all the land.
To give them to America
was his noble plan.

So the Vegetable Stalker came to me.
Said, “Let’s take them round the world,
in an apple shaped balloon
to every boy and gurl.”
But it seems he overloaded
‘til the gondola could hold no more.
and crashed upon the ground
to leave him tired and sore.

Good grief! Is the Vegetable Stalker okay? What will he ever do with all that bruised fruit? Apple sauce, maybe? Speaking of sauce, could it be the mighty Vegetable Stalker is on the sauce? Hard apple cider, maybe? Is the road to Hell really paved with good intentions, or rotten apples? Will one bad apple spoil the whole bunch? Find out next time as the adventures of the Vegetable Stalker continue here at VNN., Veggie Network News.

For the latest Vegetable Stalker updates, stay tuned to VNN., Veggie Network News (or was that the Veggie News Network?) or visit us on the world wide web at VegetableStalker.com.

What, you got something better to do? Yeah, right!

Continue reading Veggisode 11.