Veggisode 11

Spinach

The Vegetable Stalker spotted again! Stay tuned to this station for an urgent broadcast.

Hello, this is Ralph Apple, VNN., Veggie Network News, filling in for Bruce and Victoria Apple who are in jail for allegedly operating a pirate radio station from inside their home. That's why their children and I are broadcasting from the mobile broadcast van parked outside in your drive way.

The Vegetable Stalker was spotted late yesterday afternoon in a garden just west of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The following is an eye witness account of what happened.

Beware the dreaded spinach
for they’re not like you or me.
You’ll never fight a leaf alone
for they come in bunches you see.
Watch out they will attack you,
and to win you’ll never finish.
And when you’re done you’ll turn to run.
Beware the dreaded spinach.

Oh dear, the Vegetable Stalker is sure in a mess this time. A mess of greens that is. Someone reported that gangs of turnips and collards are coming to reinforce the spinach! This could really be a problem if Veggie can’t eat his way out before it’s too late. Do you think ol’ Veggie knows you can boil them down until they’re smaller, or will he stick with Ranch Dressing? What’s that? No, not cross dressing... Ranch Dressing. I know cowboy boots are out of fashion, but try telling that to Veggie why don’t you? Imagine, anyone not knowing you can boil spinach. Anybody got any vinegar? I’m getting hungry.

This VNN. broadcast was brought to you by Cold Dry Biscuits, a book by Billy Jones.

Cold Dry Biscuits, cold dry biscuits,
they look good on your plate
and you will want so many
you'll read until you're late.
Keep them on your table,
in your bathroom, in your den,
and keep a couple in your car
to give to all your friends.

Order yourself some Cold Dry Biscuits today.

For the latest breaking news and up-dates go to the VNN., website, Veggie News Network at VegetableStalker.com,

Continue reading Veggisode 12