The Great Squash Debacle
The Vegetable Stalker in Tennessee. Stay tuned to this station to find out more!
Hello, this is Victoria Apple, reporting for VNN., Veggie News Network. Bruce is being held on ten thousand dollar bond for operating a pirate radio station without a license. What's that? How did I get out? Lets just say the judge and his friends really. I mean really. like me.
In an unconfirmed sighting, it was reported that Veggie Head Stalker AKA: the Vegetable Stalker and Billy Jones, the rebel Poet Laureate of North America “TM” were both spotted northwest of Nashville early this morning. Here's an account of what happened there.
The mounds all laid before him.
Each hill a threat did make,
but Veggie failed to realize
his steps were big mistakes,
for as he planned his battle
to kill squash in a horde,
he forgot about its allies,
a vining, viscous gourd.
He led with his machete.
The squash were heard to scream
but the gourds came from behind!
Was not a pretty scene.
They tied him in their tentacles
and slowly dragged him down,
and if I hadn’t jumped right in
he might not have been found.
Was then his ire was rankled.
“I’ll kill them all!” he swore.
“I may have lost the battle
but I’ll soon win this war!”
So he went back with a vengeance.
A fire, he then started,
and so it was their battle lines
were swiftly drawn and parted.
Woah! That was one rough battle. For a while there I thought Veggie was a goner. Who would have ever thought the gourds would take_up for the squash? This might mark a dreadful turn in vegetable warfare. What if whole plant families start to unite? Why there’d be no stopping them. Thank goodness we’ve got the mighty Vegetable Stalker on our side. Stay tuned for more coverage from the war front as the adventures of the Vegetable Stalker continue.
Ralph, I think I see an agent from the FCC. Quick! Get the mobile broadcast van started. What do you mean it won't start? Yes, I can distract the FCC. agents while you start the van. Really, I don't mind taking off my clothes in front of big strong federal agents.
Ya'll stay tuned to this station for the latest updates or go to the VNN website at VegetableStalker.com.
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Continue reading Veggisode 13.