Veggisode 2

The Vegetable Stalker Goes To California

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Hello, This is Victoria Apple with VNN., Veggie Network News, bringing you yet another sighting of that strange man known only as the Vegetable Stalker. The Vegetable Stalker was spotted earlier today, somewhere near Bakersfield California. This is a quote from one of the witnesses.

“Alas, the red tomato,
its fruit a blazing red;
cut it and its juice will bleed,
but let it grow instead.
Some say it’s a vegetable
while others call it fruit,
but if you pick enough of them
you’re sure to make some loot.

So the Vegetable Stalker made his way
out west to California,
but Ya’ll don’t try to blame me now,
‘cause you see I tried to warn ya’.
He went just north of Bakersfield
where they grow for miles and miles
to try and get them at their source.
He took with him a file.

Was when he got to Bakersfield,
he opened up his file,
pulled some papers out to see,
and stood there with a smile.
You see, it’s not to slay them all,
why he traveled such a ways;
for he had drove a tanker truck
filled with mayonnaise.

Was then he picked the biggest one
and sliced it really thick.
He said, “I’ll make a sandwich, really big,
with slices thick as bricks.”
But then the fear, it came to him
to fill his heart and head.
Seems he brought the mayonnaise
but forgot to bring the bread!”

Anybody got any whole wheat bread? How bout white bread or Jewish Rye? Is mayonnaise kosher? Will the tomatoes dry up or will that tanker full of mayonnaise begin to spoil? Yuck! What about lettuce or bacon? Are there any pigs around, and what was in that file Veggie Head carried with him? Ya’ll stay tuned for more of the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker right here at VNN., Veggie Network News. For the latest in breaking news, go on-line to the VNN. website at VegetableStalker.com

This veggisode of The Adventures Of The Vegetable Stalker has been brought to you by Laureate Red Wine-- the red wine choice of redneck poet laureates and vegetable stalkers everywhere.

Please continue reading Veggisode 3 if you dare.