Veggisode 3

Asparagus

The following is an urgent message from VNN., Veggie Network News. Please stay tuned for this urgent message or go to the VNN., website at VegetableStalker.com.

Hello, This is Junior Apple with VNN., Veggie News Network. I'm filling in for our regular broadcasters, Bruce Apple and Victoria Apple, who are banging each other in the back room. Mom, quit yelling! I'm on the air!

The Vegetable Stalker was spotted last night, attacking a field of Asparagus. That's right, I said Asparagus. I hate Asparagus. I hope Veggie Head won. This is an account of what took place. Mom, you're yelling again! I wish they wouldn't do that when I'm home from school.

“Asparagus, asparagus,
I see you are a spear.
I’m told you’re good to eat,
but I will not go near,
a food that is a weapon;
seems just a bit unwise.
I might as well eat rhubarb
if I should choose to die.”

It seems that some vegetables are too much even for the mighty Vegetable Stalker. Has our hero been beaten? Is he chicken or just an egg, and will he return to stalk the vegetables once again? To find out, tune in next week, same time, same station, to the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker right here at VNN., Veggie Network News.

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Laureate Red Wines.

Laureate Red, Laureate Red,
goes to your head, Laureate Red.
Goes down real smooth.
It helps you move!
Hear what I said, Laureate Red.
Hear what I said, Yee-haw! Laureate Red.

Laureate Red Wines, the red wine choice of redneck poet laureates and vegetable stalkers everywhere. Buy yourself a bottle today!  Heck fire, buy a case!

For the latest info., go to our website, VegetableStalker.com. Really, for real, there is such a website. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, try it for yourself.

Continue to Veggisode 4.