Veggisode 5

Veggie Gets A Job

It's time for yet another adventure of the Vegetable Stalker! Stay tuned for the latest news!

Hello, This is Fred Apple sitting in for my brother, Bruce Apple, and his wife, Victoria Apple, who are in the other room beating the screws out of their son, Junior Apple, for announcing on the air that Bruce and Victoria were banging each other in the other room. Whatever that means.

The Vegetable Stalker was spotted in New York City early this morning. It is alleged that he caused massive traffic jams and scared the screws out of the many innocent bystanders and motorists who were trying to make their way to jobs in the city. Here's what one witness had to say about it.

“Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go...”

The Vegetable Stalker sang a tune
as he walked to work today,
thinking of the many foods
he had come to slay.
Was then he heard an angry mob
a shouting and a yellin’
for overturned there in the road
was a load of watermelons.

The melons were all ripe and firm.
He knew they would be sweet.
There were watermelons everywhere.
They covered all the street.
And while the people stopped and stared,
and others blew their horns,
Veggie, he just went to work.
“Look out!” Veggie warned.

‘Twas then he dived into the pile
of melons white and green,
a machete he swung oh so fast
like none have ever seen,
an’ it only took a minute more
‘fore them melons all were pieces
to serve to all the people there,
their nephews, aunts, and nieces.

So they all joined to eat their way
to help and clear the road,
an’ the trucker started eatin’ too.
Or so I have been told.
And Veggie asked “Please tell me Sir,
where did you get this load?”
Then ran off to get into
adventures not yet told.

Wow! Veggie’s a hero now. Who would have ever thought he knew how to share? Perhaps Fruit E and Candy Apple Stalker did a better job raising their son then they’ve been given credit for. And where is the mighty Vegetable Stalker going now? Does he really have a job?

And now, a word from our sponsors:

Wackemall Products.

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If you picked a Wackemall
you are not a fool.
Wack ‘em in the middle.
Wack ‘em on the end.
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machetes that won’t bend!

That’s right folks, the Vegetable Stalker uses only Wackemall Machetes because Wackemall Machetes never bend. Wackemall Machetes, just like all Wackemall Products, are built to wack ‘em all until there’s no more wacking to be done. A Wackemall Machete will last until you're finished wacking-off, guaranteeeeed! Know someone that needs to get wacked? Get a Wackemall today.

Ya'll stay tuned to VNN., Veggie Network News, for the latest news as to the whereabouts of the Vegetable Stalker. For up to the minute breaking news, go to our website at VegetableStalker.com.

Continue to Veggisode 6.