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Saturday
06Jun2009

Veggisode 6

Veggie Gets Carried Away

And now, another important update in the continuing veggie saga of the Vegetable Stalker.

Hello, This is Victoria Apple for VNN., Veggie News Network, with the latest news on the Vegetable Stalker. Police are saying the notorious Vegetable Stalker has been captured in an undisclosed location somewhere in the western mountains of Virginia. Could it be true? Here's what one witness had to say about it.

“What is this place,” He questioned,
“where veggies do surround?
They come at me from everywhere,
by gosh, they do abound.”
“It seems to be a jungle,” He says.
“Oh Stalker, I beg your pardon.
This place is not a jungle
but just a humble garden.”

“I’ll lead with my machete,” he says,
“and wack ‘em all to bits.”
I said, “But Sir, they’re not quite ripe.
Perhaps, just call it quits.”
He said to me, “They cannot win.
We cannot let them grow.
If one should chance to live
the world can never know.”

But then some men in white coats came
with jackets tied in back.
They bounded cross the rows;
how sure was their attack!
Was in a group they bound him up
then led him all away
so my humble garden’s safe
at least another day.

Has the Vegetable Stalker gone daft, or has the writer of this script simply become nominated for an award of another kind? Is this the last Veggisode? Will the Vegetable Stalker be able to free himself from the men with such poor taste in clothing (everyone knows jackets with belts are out of fashion this year) and will the writer ever “get a haircut and get a real job?” Ya'll stay tuned for more adventures.

And now, a word from our sponsors.
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Mountains high and the deserts dry,
they go anywhere!

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Like a true veggie child
you were born, born to be wild.
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Veggicycles never die...

Veggicycle with the V-Stalker engine, the number one choice of the Vegetable Stalker and redneck poet laureates everywhere.

VNN., Veggie News Network, will always keep you posted on the latest news of the Vegetable Stalker. For late breaking news, go to our website at VegetableStalker.com.
Continue reading Veggisode 7.

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